88. Plan for 2025: Wheel of Life and Goal Setting, With Dale Wilsher (Annual Planning Series, 2 of 3)

[00:00:00] Patricia Ortega: Hi friends. Welcome back today. We are here again with Dale Wilshire. Super excited. This is part two of our three part annual planning series. So today's episode is on casting a vision. We're going to take a look at her proprietary wheel of life exercise. We're going to talk a little bit about goal setting, and this is all in preparation for our episode coming at the end of December, where we talk to you about how to reach your goals in 2025, how to make your goals stick.

[00:00:30] So let's get right into the conversation. Dale, as always, so excited to have you here.

[00:00:36] Dale Wilsher: Oh, thanks. I'm thrilled to be here, Patricia. Always fun to talk goals and to be with you.

[00:00:41] Patricia Ortega: Yeah, absolutely. Well, you have this really cool Wheel of Life exercise and we know that it's downloadable. If you haven't caught the first, uh, part of this three part series, go catch that Reflect on 2024 Annual Reviews Strategies episode.

[00:00:57] Um, in either case, the Wheel of Life is linked [00:01:00] in the description. And so if you have it in front of you, let's have Dale start us off with a brief explanation of what it is.

[00:01:07] Dale Wilsher: Yeah, the wheel of life is a classic life coaching exercise. It was one of the first that I learned, but what I found is people, they divided all areas of life, usually into six or eight areas.

[00:01:18] So it looks like a circle with, um, you know, with pie, like slices of pie out of it. So I, through, you know, years of coaching and working with different people kind of found the areas that seemed to be the most important to consider as categories, whether we're looking year to year or even thinking, you know, more broadly in a 10 year kind of plan.

[00:01:40] And this just allows you to focus in on specific areas that you may neglect. You may not think that heavily about them. And these sometimes can be the longterm things that lead to a meaningful life, but they're not as urgent. People aren't requiring these things of you. So it is just a great overall way to [00:02:00] consider where you are with your level of satisfaction in these areas so that you can appreciate what's allowing you to feel, uh, fulfilled in that area.

[00:02:08] Do more of that, but then also be specific about the goals that you want to set for the coming year that will address some of the areas that are not as great as you'd like them to be.

[00:02:19] Patricia Ortega: Ah, okay. And so we've got multiple areas here. We've got living environment, work and service, finances, health and fitness, community, family, rest and recreation, faith and growth.

[00:02:29] There's a couple of tweaks that you made in here. So if we are using a different wheel of life, we may not see some of these items. I know I was personally surprised and happy to see living environment, but share how you came to maybe some of these tweaks that you've made over the years to what typically is seen as a very general wheel of life.

[00:02:49] Dale Wilsher: I think starting with the living environment one, I have just found that our spaces impact either how productive we are, how satisfied we are. So that [00:03:00] can be your car. It could be you know, your office, uh, whether that's at home or in, in another building, it can be just the general state of, of what you're doing in your home.

[00:03:11] I found that a lot of people, once we started talking about goals, they're like, Oh, and I've got that one closet I want to get to. I mean, everybody has a closet, right? Or they have some area where they're like, I just dump stuff in there. Cause I don't have time. I would love to remember to clean that out or start making small progress toward those goals.

[00:03:29] So that, that just always came up for people. I don't care what level of business they're in. There was always something around living environment. That's something that I want people to consider because it certainly can take up a lot of time, um, and infect us in different ways. The other one that I find that's a little different For me is I have one for faith and growth.

[00:03:51] So whether that's personal growth or that's your spiritual life, usually there are things that people see, um, kind of in a [00:04:00] similar way. So I want to make sure those were honored. Especially if you're doing this kind of work, you're usually into your own personal growth, or you're trying to align with what you, believe is part of your calling, you know, what the kind of person that you want to be.

[00:04:15] So that's a slice that I definitely added. When I do a 10 year plan with people, I will add on something that we might put in rest and recreation, but that's more like, travel or learning, sometimes learning can go in growth. So, um, and I do have rest and recreation. I think that's key because that is both play and rest because sometimes we only think of rest or sometimes we only think of play, but we don't tend to think of both.

[00:04:41] So, so those are the areas that I think kind of cover most of it. Now, a lot of my professionals will set bigger goals in one area more than the other. You don't have to set equal amounts of goals. For each of these areas, some are going great. Some you already have ongoing habits and, um, you know, practices [00:05:00] that work really well.

[00:05:01] So it's the ones that you want to add something new, or they're just hard. Like hydration is always hard for me. I don't, I don't care how many years I've worked on this. It's always a goal because I have to continue to put it in front of me.

[00:05:13] Patricia Ortega: Oh, that's so true. And I know last time we talked about this, you just mentioned, you don't have to have equal goals or an equal level of commitment in each area.

[00:05:22] You can't be 100 percent in seven, eight different places. Right. And so I'm looking at my wheel of life and I'm like, okay, there's some areas that I'm really satisfied in. But it's still, I want to continue to commit time to those. And there's some areas that I'm like, you know, I know I'm not getting enough rest and recreation there.

[00:05:40] You could never give me enough rest and recreation, right? I mean, but you know, when we look at the season of life that we're in, in this season, rest and recreation is not, um, it's not something that I'm, you know, what I want- I used to take three day, resets every 12 weeks. That was like a thing. Yeah. [00:06:00] Every 12 weeks, it's like a three day reset where two of the days were just nothing like just relax, go out to a cabin or something.

[00:06:05] And that third day was more like strategy, like, okay, where are we going in the business? Where are we doing this? Um, and lately we haven't been able to do that. So to me, mine's a little lower than I would like it on the rest and recreation, but I also acknowledge, Hey, this is a season that we are, that we're in and we get to decide.

[00:06:23] In this next quarter, in this next year, do we want to continue on that route or do we want to shift that? Um, so yeah, yeah, mine is a little bit uneven, but I think I'm relatively happy.

[00:06:33] Dale Wilsher: Yeah, that's, that's first of all, very normal, you know, that's, that's kind of where we are and different things can happen.

[00:06:39] I think I mentioned last time I, you know, when I was in my last house, I was very content. I had a high number and then we decided to buy my in laws house and go through this whole gut. And, and so my number just crashed based on one decision. So, uh, and that's fine. That was the season I was in, whether you have small children, you're an empty nester, [00:07:00] you're single, you're married without children, like all of that is going to be reflected.

[00:07:04] And it is just a snapshot of where you are today. It is not an indication of your life or your value or your potential. It's just where you are today so that you can do something about it.

[00:07:16] Patricia Ortega: Yeah. And you said something that hit a chord. You said, because of one decision I made, right? And sometimes these are very intentional decisions, or we might look at our wheel, like, you know, we talked about rest and recreation for me.

[00:07:30] I might look at it and say, okay, that was an intentional decision, but I might look at a different area, maybe community or maybe finances and say, oh, that's not as high as I'd want it. And I don't know where I kind of lost the ball on that one. And that's normal too.

[00:07:42] Right?

[00:07:43] Dale Wilsher: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

[00:07:44] Absolutely. But now we get to focus in on one little thing. And some things just are greater priority than others. And that, that's a very personal kind of a thing. So, you know, at different times, one person in your life may need a lot more attention [00:08:00] and that is what you feel. So all of a sudden family, and I have a distinguished routine, family, As one slice and community as another.

[00:08:07] So family, it could be just the people in your house, or maybe it's your parents and siblings, if it's not too big of a crowd. And then community could be all your friends and your community, you know, church community, whatever volunteer communities. So thinking about where, where those are happening and what is most important, but just remember Just because it's on here and somebody may say, I have a huge community and I need more.

[00:08:31] I don't have a huge community. I kind of have a huge business community, but I don't need as much. So please honor what is important to you. It differs for every single person. We cannot put effort into all of these at one time. We can't. Yeah.

[00:08:47] Patricia Ortega: Definitely. I know some people who have beautiful houses and maybe they're, like you said, don't need as much community.

[00:08:53] You know, I have a very small family, very happy with it, um, but maybe my faith area is really big. And so, okay, so we've taken [00:09:00] some time to sort of explain the, the model, um, how scoring works and how, you know, um, one area might be smaller than the other and that's okay. So let's say. That we're all sitting around and if you're sitting here doing this with us, let's say we're all having coffee together.

[00:09:16] We're at the table. We all have our, um, wheel of life scored and let's assume you don't go ahead and pause it. I'll give you 2. 2 seconds. Pause it. Finish your wheel of life and then come back to us.

[00:09:28] Dale Wilsher: And by the way, all you're doing, can I say it's just putting a dot. On the line that gives you the scoring from 1 to 10, just put a dot on where that number rest for you.

[00:09:40] You don't have to prove it to anyone. Sometimes I have no idea why. I just know it's a seven. Don't I can't prove it, but just choose your number for each one of those areas.

[00:09:51] Patricia Ortega: Oh, thank you for that. I do know sometimes we can get caught up on like, what's a five and what's a seven? What's a ten? You know, so I get that.

[00:09:58] I get that. Okay. So, so [00:10:00] you paused it. You've completed your wheel of life and you're coming back to the table. Dale, what do we do now?

[00:10:06] Dale Wilsher: Now there's some coaching questions below this. So I think this is a way to reflect on what's going well and where you want to put some emphasis. So I want to start with the positive because sometimes we go immediately to the negative, like, Oh my gosh, that has a three.

[00:10:19] I'm on it. Yes. We do want to be on something, especially if it's a seven or below seven is good. But once it gets below seven, we definitely want to put some time toward that, but let's start with What is going well, and especially when people are doing, you know, career pivots, they're looking for new jobs, man, you need to be reminded of the other areas in your life that are going well, because that will provide, you know, enjoyment and also some dopamine for the hard task you're doing elsewhere.

[00:10:46] So I start with really your top two or three areas. And so for me, my top number is nine. And by the way, if you're going to do this next year, cause I do this every single year as an exercise. [00:11:00] So if you're going to do it next year, start your wheel of life fresh. Don't look at last year's first. That's kind of fun to look back and see what's changed after the fact, but take it fresh every single time.

[00:11:10] And so for me, my highest areas are work, rest and recreation and family. I gave them all a nine. And so go ahead and list those out. Like, just take a moment. And then the next question is. What led you to give those the highest scoring, um, categories. And that's where you can really assess your life. Like, because I have these great connections or because I have been working on this or whatever it is, these are the strengths and the resources that you want to leverage going forward.

[00:11:40] Um, do you want to pause there before I talk about the rest of it? Cause there are several questions here to assess.

[00:11:45] Patricia Ortega: Yeah, let's pause really quickly. You mentioned that you can only do so much in each season, and that is so important. We are so quick as humans to go on to the next thing. And often what that means is we move on once we've taken action, we move [00:12:00] on to the next action.

[00:12:01] But what we're doing is we're setting something in motion. We're making commitments for ourselves in the future. And I actually just recently, literally just a few days ago, had a conversation with a client who said, I had. was thinking about starting coaching a few months back. But when I talked to someone, I realized that I had so many things going on.

[00:12:19] There was a big career change. There was a big move going on there. You know, I was going to a whole new environment. And when you have that many changes, you do have to, um, give yourself time to adjust, to acclimate to, you know, any learning curve is going to take up some more time. And there's the time period.

[00:12:38] There's the budgetary expense, but there's also the piece that we often don't look at is the emotional expense of the changes that are happening in our life, which can be more impactful on our energy than probably anything else. If you have a really positive, um, outlook, a really positive impact on your emotions, on your day to day, you can actually sustain quite a bit more work [00:13:00] than if the emotional You can do very little and still feel drained.

[00:13:06] So that was one piece that when you said it, it just struck a chord. Mm hmm.

[00:13:12] Dale Wilsher: Yeah, well, did him.

[00:13:18] So moving on once you've assessed what's going well, And that's just celebrating truly. It's kind of what we did with the year end review. This is celebrating what is going well and just paying attention to what, what is working, what things that you want to keep up because they're making a difference.

[00:13:35] Then we move into what's not working. So I ask you on the Wheel of Life to go ahead and list out your low scoring areas. So again, two or three of those. So for me, that would be community, finance, and faith. That's just where I am this year. And, um, and, you know, they're slightly different than, than last year, which is fine for different reasons.

[00:13:55] And in fact, some of them were goals that I just can't seem to move forward. [00:14:00] I'm going to need God to move some things around for me to make it happen. And so. It's just, it's on there again, but now it feels like it's more of an issue. So it's now in a lower scoring area. And then the next question has you think about if you were to score those at a 10, what would need to happen?

[00:14:20] Basically. What would you need to do or add or subtract for those numbers, those lower scoring areas to go up to a 10. And if that feels like pie in the sky, I get it. Like dial them up a couple of notches. What would it take to make that happen? That's where you get a really quality list of some things that may or may not end up being on your, your priority list, you know, cause all of this needs to get condensed.

[00:14:47] These are, this is a chance to brainstorm. That's what this is. This is a chance to get everything on the table and then we start to prioritize and determine which are the ones that we want to, uh, put our effort toward to [00:15:00] begin with. Maybe as you finish some, you can add some others, but that happens secondarily.

[00:15:05] And then-

[00:15:05] Patricia Ortega: So what you're saying is that we don't have to do everything that we put on our list.

[00:15:09] Dale Wilsher: Absolutely.

[00:15:10] Patricia Ortega: Okay.

[00:15:10] Dale Wilsher: Absolutely. Or absolutely not. I should say, just use this as an opportunity to think through it. These are options that you have. So, so don't feel like if you write it down, you're like, man, I'm going to have to do that.

[00:15:22] I'm not excited about that. Cause actually the next question is which area are you most motivated to work on? And what I actually answered was health and fitness, which was kind of in the middle for me. But I've got some great goals going right now. I've got some great support and she started CrossFit.

[00:15:39] I'm having the time of my life doing CrossFit. My daughter is actually a trainer there, which is super fun, but I have a lot of motivation and that kind of dopamine can actually transfer to other things. So I definitely want to keep, keep that up. I also am very motivated to, uh, to work on my, um, work goals.

[00:15:58] But then I asked at the very [00:16:00] end, in what area can you make the big, biggest difference. with the least amount of effort. So that can tell you a great place to start because a lot of times we come to these feeling a little stuck or we're just like, you know, it's one of those seasons. So where can you start to move the needle?

[00:16:17] On goals in general. And again, just gain a little momentum without it taking everything that you have or rearranging your entire schedule. Those are important. And, and then from there, you're going to want to like list out individual goals in each of these areas and then start to sort and order they're all there so you can go get them.

[00:16:40] If you, um, want to review, I recommend you review this like every quarter to see, are things still priority? Like they used to be when you started this. Uh, and, but then I like people having this place to dump all their good ideas. If all of a sudden in three months, you're like, oh my gosh, I saw this really cool trip I want to go on one [00:17:00] day.

[00:17:00] Great. You don't want to lose that. Put it on your list. Doesn't mean you have to act on it. It's safe and sound, and you can move on to the goals that you want to work on now.

[00:17:10] Patricia Ortega: I love that. And your last two questions, what are you most motivated to work on and what could make the biggest difference with the least amount of effort?

[00:17:18] Those two questions, I think are the two questions that tend to be missed on a lot of Wheel of Life exercises where it's like, where are you? Here's a report card. Oh my gosh, you have to improve an A, B, C, D, and E, right? So you end up with a longer list, more stress, less satisfied, right? So to be able to look and say, okay.

[00:17:36] Like for me, rest and recreation, um, health and fitness and finances are the three areas that have been, um, a little bit less, a little bit lower for me, just given the season that I'm in. And when you said, what are you most motivated to work on? What I thought was, Ooh, well, now that I. My, I have this living environment where I'm kind of getting really motivated in it.

[00:17:56] Now I'm like, okay, well, here's an area of little effort. I'm already motivated to [00:18:00] work in my living environment. Let's work on putting a gym set up right in my home. And that's going to sort of snowball into an overall more well rounded and better life.

[00:18:10] Dale Wilsher: Yes. Yes. I'm excited for that. And that's what this is all about.

[00:18:13] This is your whole life. Mm hmm. Now, what I have found when I work with clients and we're kind of transitioning into the new year, we'll go through a whole process. I'll help people pick their top two goals in each of these areas. And then, so then you would have 16, since there's eight to begin with, and then we kind of narrow that down to five.

[00:18:32] But that's a holistic process. list that's really honoring all the different areas of your life. A lot of my clients will have more when we get down to five for the year. I love for people to have five big goals for the year. It's easier to hold on to and keep coming back to, but then you're going to have smaller activities that you will use to kind of realize those, but not all five have to come from five different areas on here.

[00:18:59] I will say, [00:19:00] cause for me a lot, at least three of my goals come from the work area. I, you know, I'm an empty nester, so I, and I don't have grandkids yet, so I get to put a lot of my focus into my work. So that's great. I will have at least three. I say, don't make all five of yours one category, especially if it's work.

[00:19:17] Make sure at least one of the categories, if not two, belongs to some other area so that we do have good balance. We do have a life to the full and more areas than just one.

[00:19:29] Patricia Ortega: Okay, so I've gone through this process, and if you're listening, then we're all here at the table sketching out, right, and writing our answers on our Wheel of Life handout.

[00:19:40] I know I've got my three areas. The one that I'm most motivated to work on is probably health and fitness with a little bit of that rest and recreation in there. If I can tie those together, that would be ideal. Um, what area could make the biggest difference with the least amount of effort? For me, it's that home gym.

[00:19:56] It just feels like such a natural way to pivot [00:20:00] into, you know, from living environment to health and fitness. So where do I go now? How do we start to like settle and establish these goals and create a plan for the year that's a little bit more set?

[00:20:13] Dale Wilsher: Yeah, I recommend that people use, um, index cards.

[00:20:17] So it's a tool that I use when helping determine values. So, uh, your brain can choose from two choices so much better than, you know, multiple, you look at this, it gets mind numbing. So if you take a lot of these goals and you put them on index cards, then you start what's called running a tournament where you just pull two at random and think.

[00:20:37] If I had to choose one of these goals to work on first, what feels more important? And this is how you start to sort in order. You get a winner. It's not really a loser. So maybe you get a love pile and a like pile, and you just continue to do that until you start to sort in order in a way that you're like, okay.

[00:20:54] These keep coming up on top. This is probably where I want to start. So that's [00:21:00] a way to start executing on things. I also have again, I, you know, I'm, I'm really big on lots of ways to display this. It's really important that you know what your goals are so you can go back to it monthly. We do that as far as reviews, but think about if you were to take all these goals and maybe break them down by quarter, you know, what would you want to get done by the first quarter next year?

[00:21:22] You know, what is a goal that like, if you do you want to get that done before you start the new year, your new home gym, because you want to enjoy it all year long, or you want to do it before the weather gets cold, you know, and sometimes summer is crazy. If you have younger kids, you don't get a heck of a lot done in the summer.

[00:21:38] So how do we honor that time by maybe finishing some things beforehand? So I want people to think in terms of their natural rhythms and seasons and schedule. And as they prioritize them, start kind of putting them into a place. And so whether you have, um, like a four square kind of pattern where you're putting some goals in there or you're listing them.[00:22:00]

[00:22:00] Again, I have a, a sheet of my top five and then I'm checking that all the time, making sure my monthly goals, my quarterly goals are working toward those. And then I have some smaller goals toward that. So however you like to break them down, I'm still a fan of putting this on some kind of paper that you can display because it's, if it disappears into your digital calendar, uh, Um, you'll, you're never going to be reminded of it.

[00:22:26] How can you keep this out in a way that allows you to be thinking of it? And even unconsciously, as your brain is thinking about how to make these things happen.

[00:22:36] Patricia Ortega: Wow. This was very valuable. I mean, to summarize, I love the tournament game. Yeah. I've, I've done value sort right where you start the cards.

[00:22:44] Very important. Not important. But this one seems a little bit more fun. Like you have the two cards and there's going to be a winner via a like and a

[00:22:52] Dale Wilsher: love. Um, yeah. You don't get rid of. Any of them, you keep them all too. The ones don't make it in your top five or top 10, hold on [00:23:00] to them. Cause then you'll go back through them.

[00:23:01] And it is fun to see what your goals were, you know, a year ago, two years ago.

[00:23:05] Patricia Ortega: That's a good option for next year.

[00:23:07] I like that. It feels a little less like I'm saying no to something and more like I'm saying not yet.

[00:23:14] Dale Wilsher: Exactly. That's exactly what it is because you've already labeled it as something that feels important.

[00:23:18] But again, you know, it just may be like, you know, I would like to do some decorating downstairs in my house. I would like to put some wallpaper in this one bathroom. But until a big project finishes at our house, that's going to unleash a few more dollars. It's not a priority now. So I just don't think about it until that happens.

[00:23:36] But once it does, then it might raise its head. And now I want to put it on the top of the list.

[00:23:42] Patricia Ortega: Yeah. And those on the top of the list, you brought up some really great points, you know, ordering based on the order, what's going to snowball into the next thing or what's going to make the next thing more feasible.

[00:23:52] Things like weather seasons, finances, you know, schedules with school and summer, those types of things. So yeah, I really appreciate [00:24:00] how you helped us go from wheel of life. Where am I right now? All the way to. How do I want to live my life in the next year? And what's the best way of making that happen?

[00:24:10] Not just give me a bunch of to do items, but like, how can I actually carry this out in my life? So it has been so helpful to have this conversation, to be here with you again. If you were to leave us with a few final words on the wheel of life and goal setting, what would that be?

[00:24:27] Dale Wilsher: Ah, I just think it's such a cool opportunity to dream a little bit and, um, to be authentic and real about where things are so that you can open up to the possibilities before you.

[00:24:39] Have fun with this. Put your pie in the sky things down on paper. That's actually how they start happening. So don't, even if you've had one of those rotten years, and believe me, I've had many, some things are still going well for you. Honor those. Honor those and then look about, um, you know, I always gauge it next year.

[00:24:58] Am I further ahead this year, [00:25:00] especially in those areas than I was last year. Great things do lie ahead. So let's see how we can be intentional about making those happen.

[00:25:08] Patricia Ortega: Thank you for that. Thank you for sharing those, those last words. And, and if you're here with us at the table, you're doing your will of life and you're thinking, okay, I've got my goals down.

[00:25:17] I got my index cards. I'm ready to go. How do I actually make sure that these don't fall by the wayside, then tune in for part three at the very end of December, the last few days, I believe it's December 31st, where we will go over an entire episode on how to reach your goals in 2025, how to actually make the goals that you came up with today stick until you accomplish them.

[00:25:37] So Dale's going to join us again for that. So Dale, in the meantime, I hope you have a great rest of your week, rest of your month. And if you're listening to us, thanks again for tuning in. Know that we love you. We're praying for you and we'll see you on the next one.

[00:25:50] Dale Wilsher: Take care.

[00:25:52]

[00:25:52] [00:26:00]