43. Job Interview Obstacles: Turning Nerves, Anxiety and Mistakes into Success 

0:00 Hey friend, it's Patricia here. We are about to get started with today's episode. But first,

00:04 if you want to land a position that is a perfect fit at a great company making good money,

00:10 even if you don't have a fancy title or a big network or a ton of experience, then head over

00:14 into the description and grab the career transition checklist. This is basically a checklist that

00:20 includes all seven phases of a successful career search, many of which people miss all together,

00:26 all the time. So grab that in the description, know that I'm cheering you on all the way through,

00:31 and now let's get into today's episode. Hey friend, let's talk about your amazing

00:39 God-given brand and the minds that you need to stand out in a crowded job market. Whether you

00:44 want to launch, pivot, or move up in your career, we're going to tackle this together. Meet up with

00:49 me each week to help you get confident, get noticed, and get hired. I'm Patricia Ortega,

00:55 and this is the Uncommon Career Podcast. Hey friend, welcome back. In this episode,

01:02 I'm going to share with you the common barriers that hinder candidates from acing their interviews

01:07 and leaving a positive and professional impression on the hiring manager. We're going to discuss

01:13 each challenge in depth, and then I'm going to provide you with some mindset considerations

01:17 and also some practical strategies and remedies that are going to help you to confidently navigate

01:22 through the interview process. So I'm going to divide it into a couple different areas. We're

01:27 going to talk about that nervousness, that fear of failure, that pressure to perform, and how it

01:31 impacts us. But I'm also going to share a little bit about what happens when we blank out and what

01:37 you can do to leverage that moment to your advantage. We're also going to talk at the end

01:43 about what if the worst happens. You literally answer a question incorrectly, and you realize

01:50 that at the end of the interview or after you've answered the question. Maybe you step on someone's

01:55 toes, or maybe you just share something you really didn't intend to. We'll talk about that

02:00 in today's episode. So let's get started first with talking about the interview experience and

02:06 what happens with our emotions. One of the most, the biggest fears is speaking in public,

02:13 and right next to that is speaking when you're being evaluated like in an interview. So this

02:20 fear of failure or this pressure to perform really gives us a lot of anxiety, a lot of

02:26 insecurity, stress, tension, all of this leads to overwhelm and our brain gets overloaded. And that

02:33 is when we blank out. So imagine this, you are going into the interview, you know what you're

02:40 going to do for the first five or 10 seconds, right? The usual, you're going to make eye contact,

02:45 you're going to smile, show your teeth. If you're in the US, that's like the thing, right? You want

02:50 to have a bright smile, you want to shake hands that in a way that is, you know, professional,

02:57 you don't want to have that limp handshake that everyone talks about, you want to make a good

03:01 impression. But then what? Well, the nerves start rushing in, you know, you're on high alert,

03:08 maybe it's adrenaline, maybe it's anxiety, who knows, but the nerves are definitely kicking in.

03:14 Maybe you get a question or a term that you're unfamiliar with. And before you were even asked

03:19 that question, you had that worry in the back of your mind, you had that fear in the back of your

03:23 mind. Well, that is the self fulfilling prophecy. Because you felt like there might be an answer

03:29 you're not going to know. Or maybe you didn't feel that way specifically, but maybe you thought,

03:34 what if? What if I don't know an answer? What if I'm asked something that I don't know how to explain?

03:43 What if I'm asked about an experience that I don't have a skill set in, or that I haven't had an

03:48 accomplishment in? What am I going to do then? So this is what your brain does. Your brain,

03:53 since you're thinking about what if, what if, your brain is literally looking for that moment,

03:59 it's almost looking for confirmation. And this isn't necessarily that your brain is intentionally

04:05 trying to mess you over, it's just a natural process we go through. And that's why it's a

04:09 self fulfilling prophecy, because your brain is literally looking for that moment to confirm

04:14 the thought or the fear that you had. So once it finds it, your brain's like, this is it,

04:20 this is that moment. And it just shuts down. Because now all you're thinking of is, I knew it,

04:28 this was going to be an interview that I wasn't going to do well in. Again, overwhelm, overload,

04:33 and we blank out. But here's the thing, you are an experienced leader. And if you're an experienced

04:38 leader, you know the drill. You have the experience and you know that you can handle any situation

04:44 that's thrown at you in real time. How do you know that? Because you've had those years of

04:49 experience where all kinds of situations have happened, and you've managed to get them,

04:54 you know, under control. And not only that, you probably have had successes along the way.

04:59 So again, you have experience and you can handle any situation in real time. But doing your job in

05:06 real time is an entirely different skill than communicating your process, defining the strategic

05:12 advantage within that process or within your skill set, and then emphasizing the most impactful

05:18 aspects in a language that resonates with the manager. That's a mouthful. So I'm going to go

05:23 over that again, doing your job in real time is an entirely different skill than communicating

05:29 your process, which includes first defining the strategic advantage within that skill.

05:34 So defining in your skill set in a past experience, a past accomplishment, you want to define

05:41 what is the piece that is most important in order to relay that to the manager because you don't

05:47 want to share every detail of every past experience, you want to focus in on what's most important

05:52 for that job you're being interviewed for. So that's the first thing is defining the strategic

05:56 advantage. The second part is emphasizing the most impactful aspects. So once you've figured out what

06:03 the strategic advantage is, what that core skill you need to pull out of your experience or your

06:09 accomplishment or the example that you're sharing, then you want to emphasize the most impactful

06:16 aspects. A key measure in one role is going to be different than a key measure in the role you're

06:23 interviewing for. So you might want to shift how you talk about your accomplishment to focus on

06:28 the part of the project or experience that means the most to the hiring manager. And then finally,

06:35 you want to use language that will resonate with the manager. So not only the measures and the

06:42 accomplishments that you want to focus on, not only do you want to align those with what you need

06:48 for your future position, you also need to start speaking in their language. So if there is a

06:54 terminology at your prior position that is slightly different from the terminology at your new or the

07:00 position you're interviewing for, then you want to shift that language. That's a lot. That's a

07:06 lot you have to do in order to become the most competitive candidate. And so yes, for seasoned

07:13 professionals, it is not out of the norm. It's not a typical that you might get caught off guard in

07:19 a high stakes situation. And that can bring you that overwhelm and that overload and that blank

07:26 out moment. And so this is where your preparation comes in. But this episode is a little bit less

07:33 about the preparation. We're actually going to cover that in a different episode. But here's

07:36 the good news I can share with you right now is that mindset makes a big difference in the anxiety,

07:45 you know, fear, failure, pressure to perform, which is what we're focusing on today. Your mindset

07:51 makes a huge difference in that. So here's the good news. Your interview is not intended to be

07:57 a pass or fail situation. I'm gonna say that again, your interview is not intended to be a

08:03 pass or fail situation. It's not a performance where you have to, you know, you have a script

08:09 that's been pre written for you, and you have to go on stage and perform like you're, you know,

08:17 the talent for a new movie coming out where you have to say your lines exactly as they've written

08:24 as they have written them for you. This is not a performance. It's not a pass or fail,

08:30 not a performance. This is a conversation. This is literally one conversation between two people.

08:40 And the questions that you're being asked are actually created to give you opportunity.

08:45 When hiring managers sit down to think of questions to ask you, they're not questions to see whether

08:51 or not you are perfect at your job, whether or not you have the right answer. They're actually

08:57 typically open-ended questions created to give you an opportunity to share your experience in

09:02 different ways and to share different aspects of your experience. Think of it this way. Every

09:09 company when they interview you, they want you to succeed. I know that sounds maybe a little bit

09:16 out of what you have experienced or maybe what you have in mind, but the company who's interviewing

09:23 you wants you to succeed. Why? Because they need a person in the role. They want to find the person

09:30 who's the best fit. So this is why they want you to succeed. So consider the interview as a two-way

09:36 conversation more so than a one-way evaluation of your worthiness as a candidate. Remember,

09:43 it's not just about impressing the company. It is you assessing and deciding if that company aligns

09:51 with your vision, with what you want out of a position, and where you want to take your life.

09:57 This change in your perspective is going to help you to turn the conversation around from a,

10:02 please hire me, I hope that I'm worthy for your position, into a conversation of, listen,

10:09 you're looking for talent, I have the skills that you need, so let's sit together at the table and

10:14 see if this can be a win-win. Just that change in perspective is going to, and you want to have this

10:20 change happen internally, not just externally, but when this change in perspective happens internally,

10:26 everything that you say and how you say it changes in the interview. And now you speak more

10:33 confidently and you retain some of that control and authority because of the skill set that you

10:39 bring. And the goal isn't to control the conversation or be authoritative over the,

10:45 you know, the company or the people there. It's just that you hold control over who you are and

10:49 what you bring to the table, and you have authority over what decision you make. And that keeps some

10:55 of the negotiation chips on your side, and it helps you to communicate as, you know,

11:02 sort of as an entrepreneur, think of this as a business transaction. It is a partnership,

11:07 and the goal is to come together to the table and have that win-win. So this perspective really

11:13 helps the people around you to see your value, but if you don't see it, and if you don't show it,

11:19 others won't see it. And so it can only be assumed that that value is not there. So

11:27 at the end of the day, conquering fear of failure, the pressure to perform has to do with us

11:35 not anticipating that we are being evaluated, not anticipating that something's going to go wrong,

11:43 but instead saying, hey, this is an open conversation where I bring my skill set,

11:48 they bring the position that they need to fill. And let's see if we can come to a conclusion that

11:52 is going to be beneficial for both. Okay, but what happens if you literally blank out, like it happens,

12:01 the thing happens, they ask you a question and you blank out. Maybe you can't remember a situation,

12:07 or you're not familiar with a term. You might think, my fear is not just a fear. This is real.

12:16 And now it becomes this cycle, not just a self-fulfilling prophecy in one situation,

12:21 but now every interview after that, it's like the cycle of, see, I told you I was right, right?

12:27 This is going to happen. I am going to blank out at interviews. And it just becomes this,

12:31 you know, like I said, this cycle that sort of beats you up, you know, and slowly takes your

12:37 confidence. And we don't want that to happen. Here's what I want you to do. If you're in an

12:42 interview, and you are asked a question, and whether it's that you don't have a situation for the

12:49 behavioral question they asked you, or that they mentioned a term, and you realize you don't know

12:55 it, take a step, take a second, breathe, literally like bring some oxygen into your brain,

13:04 breathe, let your body calm for just a moment. And remember and tell yourself every question

13:12 is intended to help you share part of your experience, right? Also remember that any term

13:17 or skill can be learned in the first two weeks of position. I don't want to say any skill,

13:22 but a large majority of skills can be learned in the first few weeks of position in the first six

13:28 months in a position, right? And so use this opportunity to slow down and start learning

13:36 about this term or this skill or whatever it is that the question that you know stumped you,

13:42 whatever that question is, ask for more context, say something like, you know, I'm not quite

13:50 familiar with that term, but I might have done similar work under a different name. Can you

13:54 explain that to me? They explain the term, you realize, hey, I know what they're talking about,

13:59 I have an experience, I just don't know it under that terminology. Now you can answer the question.

14:05 And so what you're going to do is ask for more context, because from that context, you can

14:10 pull information that can help you to answer that question. Now if you really have no idea,

14:15 it's maybe a skill set or term that you truly do not know about, you can say, you know,

14:20 I'm not familiar with that. However, here's related experience that I have, and then pull

14:26 from your toolbox, which I'll show you how to prepare for and organize in a different episode,

14:31 but you're going to pull a story from your toolbox that is related to that, and sort of explain your

14:36 process. And now the committee has an opportunity to see what it would be like if you just took a

14:42 day or two to learn about this term or this skill, and then put your knowledge and your

14:48 experience to work on it. Okay, so not knowing a term or blanking out is actually not as bad

14:57 as you think it is. Things could be much worse. But what if they are worse? So what if you literally

15:07 say the wrong thing? What if you step on someone's toes with your response and you realize it when

15:14 you look at their face? Or what if you realize that you sounded kind of aggressive, or that you

15:19 answered a question straight up incorrectly, and you caught yourself after the fact? Well,

15:25 everybody makes mistakes. From the person that is boots on the ground to the director, the vice

15:34 president, the CEO, title does not matter. We are all human and everyone makes mistakes.

15:40 Here's what sets you apart. When you make a mistake, own your mistake. How you handle and

15:48 how you respond to situations. That is what sets apart a leader. And so any of these situations,

15:56 yes, they can leave the wrong impression if you choose to just move on. But did you know that you

16:01 can actually leverage most mistakes to make you even more memorable? And in fact, your reaction

16:09 or your response, or the way that you handle it might possibly be the reason why you get hired.

16:17 As a professional, and especially if you're managing people and departments, your poise

16:22 and your professionalism are truly what set you apart your ability to communicate your emotional

16:28 intelligence. And that's really difficult to ascertain in a 30 minute interview. So you having

16:35 that moment where you step back and realize, well, that didn't go the way I planned, adding a little

16:40 bit of humor, or something like, well, well, that wasn't right. Let me answer that again.

16:47 Maybe you can say something like, oh, I sense I didn't quite hit the target on that. Let's try

16:53 that again. Just something simple like that can make the process more relatable and more enjoyable,

17:00 and it can make you more relatable for the committee. And they can get an idea of, you know,

17:06 this person is not so serious that they can't recognize when they've made a mistake. That's a

17:12 huge quality. And when you talk about emotional intelligence, your ability to see when you have

17:17 made a mistake, own up to that mistake, and, you know, sort of have grace for yourself allows

17:24 others to see that they can be imperfect too. And that's a great leadership quality. So being

17:30 comfortable with who you are, with your humanity, and with making mistakes, which we all make,

17:36 is going to make the situation feel much lighter and maybe even funny. And when you have a shared

17:42 experience with someone that involves a positive emotion, like, I don't know, a funny moment in an

17:49 interview, that's going to make you memorable. It will help them to feel what it might be like to

17:54 work with you in real life. And trust me, everyone wants to work with a person who can have a chuckle

18:00 at their own expense every once in a while. So today we've covered quite a bit of ground.

18:06 We've really talked about conquering your fear of failure and the pressure to perform that always

18:10 comes with the interviews. It's quite a normal thing, but it can lead to overwhelm and overload

18:15 and makes us blank out. So we talked about how to overcome that perspective before the interview

18:22 actually happens. And then we also talked about, you know, what do we do when we blank out? How do

18:28 we address that? And how do we come back from that? But even worse, you might say something

18:34 incorrectly, or you might step on the interviewer's toes or have an awkward moment. And we talked a

18:41 little bit about your response in that moment helps the interviewer to see how you might actually be

18:48 an even better fit than you were when you were giving these amazing and perfect answers. Your

18:55 response changes everything. I hope this has been helpful for you. And in fact, I would love to hear

19:00 from you if you went to your interview and this episode made a difference for you. I have a link

19:07 to my LinkedIn in the description. So go ahead and connect with me there. I'd love to hear from you.

19:13 And other than that, know that I'm praying for you and I'll see you on the next one.

19:23 It's me again. Thank you for listening. You're now done with the very first step in becoming a part

19:28 of the Uncommon Career community. And that was to listen to this podcast. So congratulations,

19:34 you are done. Your next step is to head over to the uncommoncareer.com or to click on the link in

19:39 the description to get your career resources that are going to help you make career progress

19:43 right now. So again, before you forget, head over to the uncommoncareer.com or just click

19:48 the link in the description, grab your resources, and I'll see you there.